Helping
Children Grieve
(Underlined/highlighted
books are available from the A Place To Remember www bookstore.)
A Taste of Blackberries, Doris Buchanan Smith, 1973. Harper & Row Publishers, New York, NY. A very touching story of a boyhood friendship and grief through the eyes of the friend left behind. Excellent children's book.
About Dying: An Open Book for Parents and Children Together, S.B. Stein, 1974. Walker and Co. This is one of an outstanding series of "open family books" for parents and children to read together. It offers suggestions for parents in helping children understand and cope with death. The story tells of a bird that dies, then about a grandfather who dies, and concludes with a discussion of how parents can help children to cope with such events.
Am I Still A Sister?, Alicia Sims, 1986. Big A and Company, Albuquerque, NM. This book was written by an 11 year old girl to express her feelings and questions following the death of her younger brother.
Am I Still A Big Sister?, Audrey Bernheimer Weir, illustrated by Susannah Hart Thomer, 1992. Fallen Leaf Press, PO Box 942, Newton, PA 18940-0845. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross calls this "a wonderful book for siblings who have lost a brother or sister. Thank you!"
Answers to a Child's Questions About Death, Peter Stellman, 1990. Guideline Publishers, Stamford, NY 12167. Available from ICEA, (612) 854-8660. The booklet contains sketches, questions and answers designed to be read with children.
Butterflies, Grandpa, and Me, Bruce Conley, Thum Printing, 116 W. Pierce St., Elburn, lL 60119 (312) 365-6415.
Charlotte's Web, E. B. White, 1952. Harper & Row Publishers, New York. A children's story of friendship, love and grief.
Children Are Not Paper Dolls, Erin Linn Levy, 1982. Human Services Press, PO Box 2423, Springfield, IL 62705. "This book deals relevantly with the most profound of human experiences - the death of a child. No one could express such a mature subject better than a sibling. They do it with disarming frankness and honesty. Adults will be helped as much by this book as children" (Human Services Press Fall/Winter 1985).
Dancing on the Moon, Janice Roper, illustrated by Lauren Grimm, 2001. SIDS Educational Resources, Cheverly MD. Ages 3-8. The journey of a young girl to find her infant brother who has died. She dreams she flies to the moon, where she finds him. In the end, she realizes, he will be with her always, in her heart.
Dying is Different, Phyllis Rash Hughes, 1978. Mech Montor Educational Pub., Mahoment, IL. Designed to encourage children to openly share their concerns and questions surrounding death.
Explaining Death to Children, edited by Earl Grollman, 1967. Beacon Press, Boston, MA. Recommendations from specialists to ease a child's first confrontation with the death of a loved one.
For Those Who Live: Helping Children Cope with the Loss of a Brother or Sister, Kathy LaTour, 1991. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. A book to help children cope with the death of a sister or brother. Well written and interesting. Deals with such things as the grieving family, kids' problems, teens' problems and parents' issues.
Gran-Gran's Best Trick, A Story for Children Who Have Lost Someone They Love, L. Dwight Holden, MD., 1989. Brunner/Mazel, Inc., NY.
Grandpa and Me: we learn about death, Marie and Ben Alex, 1982. Bethany House Pub., 6820 Auto Club Rd, Bloomington, MN 55438, (612) 829-2500. An excellent childrens' book which presents the Christian view of death and the hope that goes beyond. Marie's experiences regarding her Grandpa's death are direct and touching. Wonderful pictures.
Guiding Children Through Grief, Katherine Bell Russell, 1989. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. A resource handbook of recommended books to help young children cope with death, dying and grief.
Helping a Child Understand Death, Linda Jane Vogel, 1975. Fortress Press, Philadelphia, PA. A Christian perspective on death, pointing out that we are never able to shield our children from death so let's educate them in healthy ways. Very practical advice.
Helping Children Cope with Death, Robert Dodd, 1984. Herald Press, Kitchener, Ontario. This booklet was written to assist parents in helping their children deal with their thoughts and feelings concerning the death of a friend or relative, or in facing their own death.
Helping Children Cope with Grief: Facing A Death In the Family, Rosemary Wells.
Helping Children Cope with Grief, Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., 1983. Accelerated Development Inc., 3808 W. Kilgore Ave., Muncie, IN 47304-4896, (317) 284-7511. Written for parents, teachers and counselors who have both a desire and a commitment to help children when they experience a death.
Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss, Claudia L. Jewett, 1982. Harvard Common Press, Boston, MA.
Helping Children Cope With the Loss of a Loved One, Dr. William Koren, 1996. Free Spirit Press, MN. Available from A Place to Remember, (800) 631-0973. What can we say to a child who has lost a sibling, parent, or other loved one? How can we be sure to say and do the right things without adding to the child's confusion and grief? In clear, concise language, the author offers comfort, compassion, and sound advice. He explains how children from infancy through age 18 perceive and react to death, and offers suggestions on how we can respond to children at the different ages and stages.
Helping Children Grieve, Theresa Huntley. Augsburg Fortress Publishers, 1991. Available from Compassion Books, (704) 675-9670. Easy to read book exploring how children at various ages understand and react to the death of a loved one.
Helping Families With Miscarriage and Newborn Loss: How to start and Maintain a Community Support System, Karis Crawford and Mary Schuman, 1988. Lamaze, Ann Arbor, MI.
Herman and Friends, Sandy Priebe, 1986. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. This book is for all children who are very ill, for all parents who love them, and for all nurses and doctors and other people who care.
How Do We Tell the Children, A Parent's Guide to Helping Children Understand and Cope When Someone Dies, Don Schaefer and Christine Lyons, 1994. Available from Centering Corp., (402) 553-1200. New Market Press, New York, NY. Provides straight forward, uncomplicated language that will help parents explain death to children from two years to the teenage years, and how to help them cope.
I Know I Made It Happen - a gentle book about feeling guilty, Lynn Bennett Blackburn, 1991. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. A children's bereavement book that focuses on the aspect of feeling guilty when bad things happen to people we love.
It's OK, Thomas G. Crouthamel Sr., 1986. Keystone Press, PO Box 166, Langeloth, PA 15054. This book is a help, aid and assistance survival kit for bereaved brothers and sisters. Written by a bereaved father to help his son and other children who must deal with the death of a sibling.
Life & Loss: A Guide To Help Grieving Children, Linda Goldman, revised edition, 2000. Accelerated Development Inc., Muncie, IN. Available from A Place to Remember, (800) 631-0973. A guide for adults, including teachers and social workers, to give them information to support children in grief. Chapters include Children's Loss and Grief, Myths of Grief, Techniques for Grief, Preparing a Goodbye Visit. Expensive book, but very well done and thorough. Excellent.
Lifetimes: A Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children, Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen, 1983. Bantam Books. A children's book that explains that all living things have beginnings and endings.
Loss. How children and teenagers can cope with death and other kinds of loss, Patricia L. Paenbrock and Robert Voss, 1990. Medic Publishing Company, PO Box 89, Redmond, WA 98073. A small booklet intended to help parents, and others, give children the understanding and support that they need to come through the grieving process in a healthy manner.
Love Away My Hurt, Danhauer and Ross-Mumford. Accent Books. A Christian book for children which explains funerals, ceremonies and a little about God's role in life and death.
Molly's Rosebush, Janice Cohn, illustrated by Gail Owens, 1995. Albert Whitman & Company, Morton Grove, IL. Available from A Place to Remember, (800) 631-0973. Certainly one of the nicest children's book available on the topic of miscarriage. The story is told in a straight-forward manner and openly confronts the fears that might confront siblings after a miscarriage. It is fully illustrated with four-color illustrations by Gail Owens, whose pastels bring the story and the characters alive. For children aged pre-school to grade 2.
My Always Sister. Available from A Place to Remember, (800) 631-0973. In this 16-pg coloring book, My Always Sister, Callie remembers back to when her baby sister, Laura, was born and died. Through her story, other children experiencing the death of an infant sibling will be able to relate to the feelings of fear, anger, sadness and eventually acceptance that Callie tells about. The large, easy to color pictures provide another outlet for children to express their own emotions as they process their grief.
No Bigger Than My Teddy Bear, Valerie Pankow. A book for siblings of a healthy preemie about the NICU experience. Talks about machines and what actually happens in NICU.
No New Baby, Marilyn Bryte, 1988. Centering Corp., Omaha, NE. Available from A Place to Remember, (800) 631-0973. For boys and girls whose expected new baby brother or sister dies through miscarriage. Grandma explains how they are not to blame, and how there are are not always answers for tough questions. Also affirms the normalcy of play during grief.
150 Facts about Grieving Children, Erin Linn, 1990. The Publisher's Mark, PO Box 6939, Incline Village, NV 89450. Facts about grieving children that help parents understand their feelings surrounding the death of a loved one.
Our Baby Died. Why?, Jake Erling, ed. by Susan Erling Martinez, Revised in 1994. A Place to Remember, 1885 University Ave., Suite 110, St. Paul MN 55104, (800) 631-0973. Seven-year-old Jake Erling tells the story of his dreams for a new brother and devastation when Jesse is stillborn. He shares his grief experience from a child's perspective, and relates an accounting of the subsequent pregnancy and birth of his twin siblings. The booklet is a place for children who have had a baby brother or sister die, to journal their thoughts and feelings. Questions are posed throughout the book and space is provided for children to write or draw their response.
Saturday Night Mulberries, Dorothy Ferguson, 1988. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. A children's book that addresses the death of a pet and the death of a parent by a child who was raised on a farm.
Saying Goodbye Activity Book, Jim Boulden, 1989. PO Box 9358, Santa Rosa, CA 95405. A children's activity book that will help them work through their feelings of grief.
Should the Children Know? Encounters with Death in the Lives of Children, Marguerita Rudolph, 1978. Schocken Books. The book "shows how the very young can and should be taught about death at school and at home-through books, the care of plants and animals, and direct experience with human death. It is sensitive and sensible, good for teachers and parents."
Sibling Grief, Marcia G. Scherago. Medic Publishing Company, PO Box 89, Redmond, WA 98073. A small, well put together pamphlet written by a clinical social worker who is also a bereaved parent that provides excellent information to help children following the death of a sibling.
So Much To think About - When someone you care about has died, Fred Rogers, 1991. Family Communications Inc., 4802 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh, PA 15213. An activity book for children to help them deal with their feelings after the death of someone they cared about.
Stacy Had A Little Sister, Wendie C. Old, Illustrated by Judith Friedman, 1995. Albert Whitman & Company, Morton Grove, IL. Available from A Place to Remember, (800) 631-0973. One of the nicest children's books that we have seen. Beautifully illustrated with 15 4-color watercolors, the book speaks to the issues and concerns of many siblings who have lost a baby brother or sister. For preschoolers through the third grade.
Talking About Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child, Earl A. Grollman, 1976. Beacon Press, Boston, MA. Death is explained in a clear, easily understandable format. It gives examples of what fears and questions children have and how parents can respond honestly and directly; a resource bibliography is included.
"Talking with Young Children About Death," Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, Pittsburgh Family Communications, 4802 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh, PA 15213. A general guide to a healthy approach to explaining death and dying to children.
Tell Me About Death, Mommy, Janette Klopfenstein, 1977. Herold Press, Kitchener, Ontario, Canada. A young widow shares her experiences in helping her two young sons understand and cope with the death of their father.
Tell Me, Papa, Joy and Marvin Johnson. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. This is a family book for answering children's questions about death and funerals.
The Angel with the Golden Glow: A Family's Journey Through Loss and Healing, Elissa A Al-Chokhachy, Ulrike A. Graf, 2001. Penny Bear Publishing. Based on a true story about a family whose first child was born with a rare genetic disorder. His family showered him with love, not knowing how long he would survive. They celebrated his life and savored every moment they shared. A book for children (4-8) and adults.
The Butterfly Tree, Joan Lowery Nixon, 1979. Our Sunday Visitor, Huntington, IN. A storybook that revolves around the pending death of Great Grandma. Told in a Catholic perspective, it acquaints the reader with those special customs. The pictures are beautiful but the story is evasive regarding death.
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf, Leo Buscaglia, 1982. Charles B. Slack Inc., Thorofare, NJ. A touching story describing the cycle of life. The portrayal of Daniel as the wise old leaf that explains life and death to Freddie is very well done. The photographs add a special warmth to the book.
The Grieving Child, Helen Fitzgerald, 1992. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. The author tells how children react to death, how parents can explain it, and how to cope with the child's emotional responses.
The Seasons of Grief - Helping Your Children Grow Through Loss, Dr. Donna A Gaffney, 1988. New American Library, New York, NY. This book is long overdue and a must for parents, teachers, grandparents, clergy, and counselors who want practical advice on helping children deal with the death of a loved one.
The Snowman: A Book About Children & Grief, Robin Helene Vogel, 1994. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. Story about two boys who use their father's pipe, scarf and hat to build a snowman after their dad dies.
The Two of Them, Aliki, 1979. Mulberry Books, New York, NY. The story of the life, love and death shared between granddaughter and grandpa.
Thumpy's Story: The Story of Grief and Loss Shared by Thumpy the Bunny, Nancy Dodge, 1984. Prairie Lark Press, PO Box 699-N, Springfield, Ill 62705. Thumpy's sister has died because she is not strong enough to go on living. A story for ages 5-10.
Thumpy's Story. Sharing With Thumpy Workbook. Thumpy's Story Coloring Book, 1985. Prairie Lark Press, PO Box 699-B, Springfield, Ill 62705. To add color to Thumpy's life is to add color to one's own. Loss of someone we love is painful, and we are able to allow the return of colors from other lives, especially of those we love. For the child - and for adults too - the coloring task is therapeutic far beyond what words alone permit. "Thumpy's Story is a life-affirming book that conveys a child's pleasure and curiosity for exploring God's world." Ages 3 and up.
Times of Transition After Pregnancy Loss: A Guide For Parents, Clergy and Counselors, Mary Beth Franklyn, 1988. Discipleship Resources, Nashville, TN.
Timothy Duck, Lynn Bennett Blackburn, 1987. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. About a duck that loses his people-friend through death. His thoughts, feelings and recovery are clear cut, easy to understand, and an excellent resource for children who lose a friend or loved one.
Unspoken Grief: Coping with Childhood Sibling Loss, Helen Rosen, 1986. Lexington Books, 866 Third Ave., New York, NY. Provides an overview of the basic issues in children's bereavement.
What Makes Me Feel this Way? Growing Up with Human Emotions, Eda LeShawn, 1972. Aladdin Books, McMillan Publishing Co., New York, NY. A book that explores and validates childrens' feelings. Chapter 10 deals with the feelings and fears that children have on death and dying.
What We Do When Someone Dies, Caroline Arnold, 1987. Franklin Watts, New York, NY. Ideal for children ages 6-12. This book answers likely questions with straight forward age-appropriate answers, while respecting cultural and religious uniqueness. (Lauri Weinfeld, bereaved parent).
What Will I tell the Children?, Jacque Bell and Linda Esterling. American Cancer Society, Omaha, NE. A guide for parents to help their children understand death.
When Death Walks In, Mark Scrivari, 1991. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. This book deals with the different aspects of the grieving process specific to teenagers.
When Someone Very Special Dies - children can learn to cope with grief, Marge Eaton Heegaard, 1988. Woodland Press, Minneapolis, MN. A workbook designed to help children cope with grief.
Where's Jess?, Ray and Jody Goldstein. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. A booklet for siblings whose baby brother or sister dies through miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death. Softly introduces the changes that come in a family. Gently presented for youngsters 2-5 years of age.