Older Child Death
(Underlined/highlighted books are available from the A Place To Remember www bookstore.)

A Broken Heart Still Beats: When Your Child Dies, Anne McCracken and Mary Semel, 1998. Hazelden Information Education. A series of stories, poems, and prose which acknowledges the ongoing pain and makes people realize that they are not alone in their grief. They include some selections from some of the greatest writers of all times, from Home all the way through contemporary writers.

A Child Dies: A Portrait of Family Grief, Joan Hagan Arnold and Penelope Buschman Gemma, 1994 (Second Edition). The Charles Press, PO Box 15715, Philadelphia PA 19103, (215) 545-8933. Covers the process of grieving for parents of all age children.

A Mother's Grief Observed: A Personal Account of How God Brought Hope and Healing Following the Devastating Loss of a Son, Rebecca Faber, 1997. Tyndale House Publications. After her toddler son drowns in the family pool, Faber offers her experience and hope that God's love is indeed stronger than death.

After the Death of a Child: Living With Loss Through the Years, Ann K. Finkbeiner, 1996, paperback, 1998. The Free Press, Simon & Schuster, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York NY 10020. Drawing on her own experience with losing a child, an inspirational self-help guide for parents examines the continuing love parents feel for their child, ways to preserve the bond, and strategies for coping.

Andrew, You Died Too Soon: A Family Experience of Grieving and Living Again, Corinne Chilstrom, 1993. Augsburg Fortress Publishers, 426 South 5th St., Box 1209, Minneapolis, MN 55415, (612) 330-3300.

Beyond Endurance‹When A Child Dies, Ronald J. Knapp, 1986. Schocken Books, New York, NY. Examines 3 types of deaths: occurring after a long illness, sudden or unexpected, and murder.

Creating Tender Memories. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Road, Omaha, NE 68104, (402) 553-1200. Adapted from their successful book for infant death, this booklet covers first things to do and practical steps to take in funeral planning when an older child dies.

Dear Parents - letters to bereaved parents, 1989. Centering Corp., 1531 N. Saddle Creek Rd., Omaha, NE 68104-5064, (402) 553-1200. This is a book of sharing of thoughts, ideas, feelings, advise and care. It is a book of letters to bereaved parents from bereaved parents, nationally known educators, authors and public leaders.

Finding Your Way After Your Child Dies, Phyllis Vos Wezeman, Kenneth R. Wezeman, 2001. Ave Maria Press. The authors' sensitive reflections on the various occasions that bring grief to the surface include events that may happen daily, weekly, annually, or perhaps only once. Fifty-two themes-ranging from the weekly allowance, to birthdays, to graduation-help parents acknowledge their loss, express their feelings associated with the change, and recognize the experience as an opportunity for grief, as well as for growth.

For Those Who Live, Kathy LaTour, 1989. Available from Centering Corp., (402) 553-1200. Good for children of all ages and for all parents.

Healing A Father's Grief, William H. Schatz, 1994. Available from Compassionate Friends, Inc., PO Box 3696, Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696, (630) 990-0010. Deals with role problems of being macho, social conditioning, being a competitor, a protector, a provider, a controller, and how they all fit into grief‹its expression and healing it.

Help for Bereaved Parents, Mildred Tengborn, 1981. Concordia Publishing House, 3558 S. Jefferson Ave., St. Louis, MO 63118. A Christian perspective offering concern, help and suggestions for recovery for husbands and wives.

Help Your Marriage Survive the Death of a Child, Paul C. Rosenblatt, 2000. Temple University Press.Based on intensive interviews of 29 couples who experienced the death of a child, the book offers perspectives, insights, powerful and moving interview quotes, and advice dealing with common marital problems experienced by bereaved parents. Commonly the problems are connected to couple communication, differences in grieving and how those differences are interpreted, sexuality, parenting of other children, the use of alcohol and drugs, blaming, differences about whether to have another child, differences in whether to go outside the marriage for support, and what to do with things and spaces that were the child's.

How To Survive the Loss of a Child: Filling the Emptiness and Rebuilding Your Life, Catherine M. Sanders, 1998. Prima Publishing, PO Box 126, Rocklin CA 95677, (916) 632-4400. Deals with the five phases of bereavement, and written from the perspective of a parent after losing a child--enduring excruciating grief and often needing help to reach the final stage of healing and renewal.

Last Day of April, Nancy Roach, 1974. American Cancer Society. Erin died of leukemia and her mother felt others could be helped by sharing day-by-day experiences, times of hope, silent fears and hope for the future. Enlightening for those parents facing the death of a child.

Letters of Hope: Living after the loss of your child, Teresa Griffin, 1991. Cedarbrook Press, PO Box 2, Richboro, PA 18954. A collection of letters written by bereaved parents.

Mourning Unlived Lives: A Psychological Study of Childbearing Loss, Judith A. Savage, 1989. Chiron Publications, Wilmette, IL. Available from ICEA, (612) 854-8660. Written by a psychoanalyst, this book addresses the search for meaning after a loss, includes work on dreams and an historical perspective. (Not necessarily recommended for those experiences a recent loss.)

On Children and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, 1985. Kubler-Ross, the famous author of On Death and Dying, here relates here experiences and insights after working with dying children. Children are aware of adult needs and this book shows us how adults can help the children and give support to both child and family.

Recovering from the Loss of a Child, Katherine Fair Donnelly, 1982. Macmillan. Available from Centering Corp., (402) 553-1200. This book offers many experiences and insights of parents who have experienced the death of a child. One doctor said it needed to be "on the desk of every person who is grieving or working with parents."

Roses in December, Marilyn Willett Heavilin, 1986. Thomas Nelson Publishers. A three time bereaved mother shares her experiences of finding strength within grief. Very religiously oriented.

Sacred Wound: Healing from the Death of a Child, Lois Gold, 2000. FireWord Publishing, Inc. ÒThis book is a memoir about the death of the authorÕs only child when she was sixteen. A journey from unfathomable pain toward healing. Every parent's worst terror is that something might happen to their child. When the unthinkable happens, you believe you will die; and part of you does. Pain is your constant companion; it becomes your teacher. Compassion and love are the healers. And surrender is the dimly lit path through your grief.Ó Lois Gold

So Will I Comfort You, Jenny Kander. Available from Centering Corp., (402) 553-1200. Support for bereaved parents, families, friends and counselors. Included: how to cope, care of yourself, grief and growth, anger, memories, setting goals, restoration, spiritual needs, step-parents, death, long-term illness, stillbirth, suicide‹all aspects of loss.

The Bereaved Parent, Harriet Sarnoff Schiff. Penguin, New York, NY, 1978. Available from ICEA, (612) 854-8660. Day-to-day decisions and hardships are confronted practically and with consolation. Includes good suggestions for recovery. A classic.

The Bereaved Parents' Survival Guide, Juliet Cassuto Rothman, 1997. The Continuum Publishing Company, 370 Lexington Avenue, New York, NY 10017. This book is an excellent overview for any parent who has lost a child. Chapters include everything from "Theoretical Perspectives," to "Marriage: The Sobering Facts." and "Social Relationships" to "Spirituality and Religion."

The Worst Loss: How Families Heal from the Death of a Child, Barbara D. Rosof, reprint edition 1995. Henry Hold (paper). An experienced child psychotherapist offers compassionate advice helping them understand their reactions and showing how to help surviving children cope with the loss.

When the Bough Breaks II, David Delgadillo and Peter Davis, updated in 1994. San Diego Guild for Infant Survival, El Cajun CA. Available from Centering Corp., (402) 553-1200. Written by the San Diego SIDS group, it is a comprehensive compilation of information on grief, the impact on surviving children, subsequent children and a section for professionals.

When Goodbye is Forever: Learning to Live Again After the Loss of A Child, John Bramblett, 1991. Dial Press, New York, NY.