IN MEMORY OF
CHARLES JR. OR CRYSTAL MARIE CANTWELL

miscarried 04/20/2004.
Remembered by Savannah and Charlie:
After I had found out that I was going to have a baby with a man who was leaving for the army, I was scared. His excitement for the child made me realize how wonderful having a baby could actually be, after all I wouldn't have had to raise the baby on my own, he was going to let me live on base with him. I was 10 weeks and 3 days pregnant when I woke up one day with the worst cramps. I tried to get out of bed but just fell on the floor. I tried to get to the phone, but couldn't walk. No one was home to help me. I laid in pain crying for an amount of time that I don't know. When the pain lessened I walked down stairs to the bathroom where I found blood and what I believe was my baby, I'm sure it was, it was about 3/4 of an inch long. I called the doctor anyway, immediately I was there with an ultrasound. The worst sound I've ever heard was that silence, NO heart beat. I was crushed. I went home after resting for a while and called the father. I know he was hurting too. I still feel like it was my fault, but I know there was nothing I could have done. I was at risk for losing the baby anyway because I had a weak uterus. I never told the father about my weak uterus, but I wish I would have. My advice is to keep no secrets. I now have a tattoo of a baby with wings above my left breast. My baby my not be in my arms, but forever will remain in my and it's father's hearts.


 

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